A conclusion I came to a long, long time ago is that there are no shortcuts to health, there is no elevator to wellness, we have to use the stairs. When I was a professor, I was often amused at the extraordinary lengths that students would go to in order to try and ‘beat the test’.

They’d look at past exams and try to analyze trends or patterns of questions. They’d try to squeeze information from me by making ‘urgent’ appointments. “Is there any point in reading this chapter?” “Will you be asking questions on that?” Then would come the requests for extensions, particularly with term papers. What was obvious in nearly every case is that if they'd put the same effort into coming to class and just doing the assignments as they did into trying to avoid the assignments, they would have passed the course with flying colors, but they wanted a short cut.

Late night TV is the kingdom of the loophole. Get rich in real estate, beat the stock market, lose weight without having to diet or exercise, or if you can’t lose weight, control it with ‘stylish’ elasticized clothing. Grow new hair, lose wrinkles, remove stains, amaze your friends and so it goes. In the words of David Olney,

I could tell you black was white,
I could tell you day was night,
Not only that, but I could tell you why,
Back then I could really tell a lie.

A current trend is to add herbal medicines and dietary supplements to soda pop and tea and market them as health drinks. Iced tea with ginkgo biloba must be good for brain function and memory. Throw some Kava into a fruity drink and call it “Tension Tamer”. What sore knee or hip won’t be eased by a little glucosamine in your juice box? Phrases flow from the marketing minds of the beverage giants:

“Joy to joints.”
“Youth in a bottle.”
“Liquid liposuction.”

According to Frost and Sullivan, sales for nutraceutical beverages are measured in multiple billions. Never has so much, been spent by so many, for so little benefit.

The world of fitness equipment is awash in money sucking silliness. As I once wrote in a song,

     If it’s fitness you want, I have a machine
     And a five-minute plan to keep you young and lean
     And if you pay me by the 15th of June
     I’ll throw in a coupon for land on the Moon
     Who wants a deal, who wants a deal?

One short cut that does seem to have a pay off is that of performance enhancing drugs in sports. There are drugs which, when combined with training, make you stronger, faster and provide greater endurance. An almost irresistible loophole. However, there can be personal health costs and huge damage to the integrity of the sport. This is the first year I have not watched the Tour de France because of all the doping scandals associated with it. I couldn’t care less how many tainted home-runs Barry Bonds hits with his chemically enhanced body when, without the ‘juice’, his lifetime total would probably have never got beyond 650.

The wellness lifestyle takes time, but it’s time well spent. Achieving 10,000 steps a day might mean a 45-minute walk, but that’s not wasted time. It can be time for reflection, thought and planning, which would otherwise get drowned out in the demands of daily life. There are no short cuts to strength, flexibility and endurance but there’s a lot of pleasure. Just ask yourself the question, "What is so important that I’d risk my health for it?" I just hope the answer isn’t TV, or other mind numbing enterprises..

Remember that, despite the honeyed words of the marketing moguls, there is no free lunch. Really beating the system (whatever ‘the system’ is) involves exercise, laughter, passion, purpose, discipline and great food.

There are no shortcuts to any place worth going. There are no shortcuts in evolution and in the end a shortcut often turns out to be the longest way between two points.